Remission:)

Remission is a strange word. I never use it. Bad omen, I think. I don't truly believe that there is remission in cancer, just waiting. Waiting for whatever comes next. Could be a long time or a short time, waiting nonetheless. Webster's defines remission, as, number one: reduction of a prison sentence based on good behavior. That fits, I think. Then, number two: remitting of a debt or penalty. That sort of fits, too, in a perverse, analytical way. Then there's number three: diminution of or a period of relief from disease or pain. Okay. And then number four: forgiveness--as in sins?? Well, three out of four have a temporary status. That's my point. Just waiting… an intermission, you might say.
But when cancer comes a-knocking, AGAIN, will we be ready? Nurtured, rested, peaceful of mind? Armed with the courage to fight the battle once again? We never know if this is the last time, but we must believe, we cancer warriors, that we will make it through once again. And why not? We are tough; we made it through before, didn't we?
Back pain, abdominal flutterings; is that fluid buildup, again? What does it mean? Or does it mean nothing at all? So we wait and hope it is nothing, just our imagination. But then, a diagnosis comes, so we resign ourselves to "here we go again." A day at a time.
You know you kind of lose your self-esteem, but it's tolerable if we believe things will eventually get back to normal. It takes a while, but it will come. Self-esteem will return. We rest, pamper ourselves, eat right; take megadrugs and megavitamins, steroids, chemo. Chemo, you know, kills the good and bad cells, but it's essential. We must trust our oncologists with all our hearts and minds. Trust unconditionally.
Sometimes we think, "Why me? Do I really deserve this?" Then sometimes we say, "Did I cause it? Was it the fish, the dairy, the wine or the bovine or nothing I did at all? Just the luck of the draw? Very simply… stuff happens. And I just happen to be the one. Maybe God thinks I can handle it. Maybe He's right."
It is in some ways like waiting for the second coming. When god comes, will we have our houses in order?
When cancer comes a-knocking, will we be ready to fight, be tough, be strong, have faith, kick it in the butt?
It is a preparation we must make, getting our houses in order. Make the most of every single moment. Live, love, laugh, dance and EAT, but eat well.
And then eventually someone will say, once again, "Are you in remission?", and we will say, "Yes" or "Maybe" or "I hope so"… for now anyway.

Something I Wanted to give you but never got a chance:) Too Late Now I Suppose

Just be yourself, be near, and persevere with me.
I know this word cancer is frightening to you. It is to me also. . . .
You ask what you can do for me. There are many things, but perhaps the most important are these.
Please do not stay away because of fear. I'm afraid also. I need you near to know that I'm not alone.
There are times when I will want to talk about my cancer, sometimes not.
But, most of all, just be yourself, be near, and persevere with me.
I know it will not always be easy for you, but I thank you for caring and for being my friend!

:) Rona chahoun To Ansoo Na Aaye...Aisi Hai Tanhayi

No Mood To Write Nything :)

:)

Bahut Udhaas Hai Eik Shaks Tere Jaane Se:X Jo Ho Sake To Chale Aa Ussi Key Khaatir Tum:)

I don't know what to name this entry:)

"Too often, the thing you want most is the one thing you can't have. Desire leaves us heartbroken, it wears us out. Desire can wreck your life... But as tough as wanting something can be....The ppl who suffer the most, are those who don't know what they want."

The Beauty That Comes Along With Having An Elder Brother:)

sunil: Sister is such a character which deserves Love, Fun, Mischief & Friendship. I have a Great Sister who is very Special as she is so sweet , so loving n so caring.chooti U r the sweetest sister in the whole universe.you pampered me an love me a lot i know.But I always enjoy teasing you...sugli..chipkali...hehe.....t\The main thing I miss are rakhi, arti and tilak been done by you uptill now.You don't know how much I wait for your Rakhi to come and feel so disappointed when you delay it.hehe...next time jaldi bhejna..wish agle janam mei hum saath rahenge aur khoob ladai karenge..hehe.Im proud of u sis..With a sister like U, I know I'll always have a friend ...I hope you are taking care of your health..God will give you long long life. Always be happy. Enjoy every part of your life. May God bless u with all the hapiness in the world. May all ur dreams come true..

My brother is my light...He lites my way thru the darkest streets....If I ever had to live without him I would be lost. I would be no where. I love you bhaiya:X More Then words can tell...Thanks for pampering me and loving me and treating me like your daughter more then a sister