Loneliness is darkness....its like a never ending night...the blackness never goes away and still you can never fall asleep:)...because loneliness sparks a fear in your heart...and unlike other nightmares awakening will not vanish it because the darkness is too strong to allow any rest....it makes memories into ghosts and dreams into spirits....too vague to remember to important to forget....i sit alone now all by myself with no one else...i only have friends when they need a place to hide...does that make them love me? " my basement is always open..." I sit alone again and again and cry...they speak to me so softly like they really care...sometimes i wonder...do they? or do they just think oh we have to be careful with this loser or she'll explode in a rage of emotions? It hurts at the end as we all know but nothing more can be done...why do people walk away when we are in time of need? do i deserve to be treated this way? didi tells me she will never go away....the hard thing is that my heart actually believes her... she stays awake with me calms me down but i always dissapoint her... I feel like i've lost my footing once again while the moon drops reflect on the sea...Im hurting inside and i have no one to talk this mood through with...i am used to this solitary introspection but it still hurts.... after all this time being alone...all the months all the years all the seasons and people behind me i still don't get used to it... shouldn't it be enough that i was loved for a brief moment in time? held close to my mothers heart? felt the joy that only love can inspire? it should help but it didn't work that way...di your all that i have but i can't even run in your arms and cry...i always cried alone ...hid my tears from the world...now when i need someone people are trying to pull me right back to independency... thats where i came from remember? from the time i was born... yet again abandoned by someone i called my own:)...ahh the chapters of life...when will this story end?
