Tuesday, December 05, 2006

He contacted me again


He Sent This to Me....Why Does he make it so hard for me to get over him?? Does he like seeing me suffer?? My heart just melted all over again

Hi, Baby Bear You're always lighting up my heart with the things you do and say. I feel so happy just being with you this way. You're my baby, and will forever be my baby. You will always be the love of my life, and please never give up, always have faith in yourself and you will gain the greatest gift of all, the gift of hope and love you righteously deserve. Every time I think of you my heart misses a beat. You're my theme for a dream! Every moment we share together we grow closer. I'm simply hanging by a moment, waiting to see you again so you can hold me so tight that all else fades, I thought after you left you would fade away from my mind, but still everyday I wake up dreaming of our time together. I will never forget you. I hope you still think of me too. I love you with all that I am, all that I was and all that I will ever be. Please know that my love and I are inseparable and I would want it no other way and if time could express my love for you then it's forever and a day, I can't wait to be with you

Saturday, November 18, 2006

To Watch You Leave........



To Watch You Leaving is to know that I've lost my place on this earth. My station. My heart's home. That I will wander, forever alone and afraid. And in my troubled dreams watch you leave, again and again.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

I Miss You Bro


Its been so long since you left =( But still mai tere liye tarasti hoon...u were my little brother...my soul mate ...best friend....my other half...i never in my mind thought you'd go....I say it 100 times...i wish it was me and not you.....today is your birthday....i remember how i used to sneak you chocolates knowing i'd get yelled at...but you were worth it... lol remember that time you got into trouble and i hid you in the big freezer in the garage thinking i was saving you from trouble....you were such a silly boy...always getting into trouble....sirf mai hi tumhe sambhaal sakti thi=) ab to u have slipped from my arms and i could not even ask you to stay....i cried my eyes out and begged for you to come back but deep in my heart i knew...once you are with god you'll never come back....abhi bhi mere dil sey tere liye sirf duwayein nikalti hai....Fly away from here...in the arms of an angel my sweet little bro...I love you ....wait for me....=) I'll be there sooon...Until we meet again....Rest in peace jaan.....remember the song i used to sing for you.....tu hi to hai meri duniya....kaise yeh chootegi....bhai behen key millan ki dori na tootegi....jagg main kahin bhi rahein tu doongi mai tujhko sahaara....chhota sa bhaiya humaara ...behna ka dulaara...chanda ney dekha suraj ney dekha sab ko lage kitna pyara...itna pyara ki dekho bhai...tumhe mere sey cheen key ley gaya....:)

Friday, October 13, 2006

Woh Dil Hi Kya

woh dil hi kya tere milne ki jo dua na karein.....main tujhko bhool kar zinda rahoon khuda na karein....rahega pyar tere saath main zindagi ban kar....yeh aur baat meri zindagi agar wafa na karein.....suna hai mohobat usko duwayein deti hai...jo chot khaaye dil par magar gilla na karein....yeh thik hai marta nahin koi judaayi main....magar khuda kisi ko kisi sey juda na karein....woh dil hi kya tere milne ki jo dua na karein....main tujhko bhool kar zinda rahoon khuda na karein

What Is Love?

kehne wale kehkar chale gaye hai ki yeh pyar bahut suhaana hota hai....yeh do dilon ka fasaana hota hai....pyar ke liye koi samay nahin hoti.....is main na sharte hoti hai na hi umeedein....na yeh din dekhta hai na raat.....na yeh ghar dekhta hai na bahaar....har cheez achchi lagti hai....dil mai eik hi taraana hota hai.....kabhi bhuje bhuje se hote hai hum.....kabhi sitaaron se baat karte hai...yeh hum usse zubaano sey nahin samjhaate....yeh aankhon sey samjhaana hota hai.....uski eik jhalak ke liye dil tadapta hai....uski awaaz sunne ko dil machalta hai....kitni yaadein kitni baatein kitne hai gile shikwe....par sab bhula kar bas usse hi apnaana hota hai....usse kuch galat na kehdoon darta hai dil.....uski har eik baat ko dil main dohraana hota hai...yeh pyar bada suhaana hota hai....yeh do dilon ka fasaana hota hai....bas kuch aise hi tha mera pyaar bhi

Thursday, October 12, 2006

For You

Tum kya jaano mai khuda sey kya maangti hoon...tumhari salamati ki dua maangti hoon.....agar anjaane mai ho jaaye koi tumse khata....to do mujhe uski saza yeh maangti hoon....agar lag jaaye tumhe chot ya ho jao tum pareshan to mere hakh mai woh saari taqleefein maangti hoon....aye khuda mere dost ko gham sey door rakhna....din raat tumhaare saare gham maangti hoon....tum ho hamesha kamyaab....tumhari har khwahish ho poori....bas yeh chahti hoon aur tumhari khushiyon ki dua karti hoon.....mai jaanti houn ki tum meri nahin ho lekin mai hamesha khuda sey tumhara saath maangti hoon...

Kya Hoon?

jaan thi tumhari eik din....aaj kya houn mai....kho gayi is duniya mai...ab kahan houn mai.....jahan tum ho wahan dhoondoun mai apne aap ko...kahan ho tum...dhoondoun mai apne khawab ko....kiun padh gayi parchaayi meri chand par....kiun rakh diya khanjar meri jaan par...phoolon se bhi poocha maine ...in hawaon mai bhi pukaara tumhe....na suni meri awaaz kisi ney...na suni yeh faryaad kisi ney....nadiyon ney bhi gaana chor diya..saagar ki lehre bhi khaamosh....kho diya apne aap ko....aap kho gayi hai hosh...na rahe asmaan key hum na rahe hum is dharti ki...na zinda hai yeh jaan ab na tere liye marti ha

Dua

Yunh to Zamaana Humaare Jeene Ki Dua Karte Hai....Lekin Jis Key Liye Hum Jeete Hai Woh Humaare Marne Ki Dua Karte Hai....Mehfil Mai Humaare Aane Ki Raaha Sab Dekhte Hai...aur Woh Humare Mehfil Sey Jaane Ka Raasta Dhoondte Hai....Na Jaane Woh Is Kadar Humse Khaffa Kiun Hogaye...Par Hum to Unhe Har Saans Key Saath Yaad Kiya Karte Hai...Log Bhool Jayenge Unhe Jo Pyar Ke Naam Per Marte Hai.....Yaad Rakhenge Unhe Jo Marne Ki Intezaar Mai Jiya Karte Hai

hmmmmmmmm

Kabhi Mujhe Apna Bana Key to Dekho....Kabhi Tum Bhi Mujhse Dil Laga Key To Dekho....Zamaana Tumhe Apna Banaana Chahta Hai....Kabhi Mujhe Apne Dil Mai Basa Key to Dekho....Zamaane Ney diye Hai Laakhon Zakhm....Kabhi Un Zakhmon Pey Malham Laga Key To Dekho....Tumhe Millenge Sahil Bahut....Magar Mujhe Kinaara Bana Key To Dekho...Dhadakte Dil Ko Sahara Mil Jayega....Kabhi Mujhe Gale Sey Laga Key To Dekho....Ishq Eik Aisa Nasha Hai Jo Bhula Dey Is Jahaan Ko....Is Nashe Mai Zara Doob Key To Dekho....

There Is Never A Right Time To Say Goodbye

As I look at My Screen and your PM window flashes Tears Stream down my face and all you can say is Goodbye chhoti forgive me. I try to remember all the good times we had together...laughing at absolutely nothing...and also the bad times when we helped eachother when help was needed...the day you said goodbye Was the day I started bleeding. Sitting in my room all alone...I made myself think that if you knew I was in so much pain you would be right beside me.....you are the one that I will always remember...the good times and bad....and yet...i dont see any tears in your eyes...and here i am not even breathing lying on my bedroom floor imagining you besides me....i remember looking at my screen at your PM window with tears streaming down my face...and all you could say was goodbye and god bless you....wat a way to bless someone eh?

Thori Dhur aur

raaha mushkil chunni hai maine...manzil khareeb hai...bas kuch aur kadam saath chalo...yunh akele tanha na choro humein ...bas thori dhur saath chalo
dhoor talak sanaata hai...andhere hai raste...hum sham e wafa jalayenge .....thori dhur saath chalo
na jaane kis mod par nikal jaaye dum mera
salamat hai jab tak saans thori dhur saath chalo
khuda dhoondne ko chale hum zara zara gali gali
ab ban key khuda mere saath chalo
dard banke kabhi ansoo ban key...yaad ban key kabhi baddua ban key...mere saath chalo
jab tak umer hai baaki thori dhur saath chalo

Jaane Do Humko

ab saha nahi jaata yeh gham....marne do humko....cho.d do yeh jhooti aas....ab jaane do humko....jaana to hai hum ko eik din alvida kahe key.....bhaand key pyar ki dhoor sey na roko humko...ab apne dil ko mana lo....ab jaane do humko...agar hoga naseeb mai to phir millenge....is duniya mai nahi to us duniya mai hi sahi....tho.dney do yeh saanson ki dor ab jaane do humko.....yeh maana juda ho key humein bhi chain sey neend nahi aayengi tumhare bina....bas kuch der ka hai saath ab jaane do humko...InshAllah Millenge Tum sey har janam...Is janam ki umar hogayi shayad kam...ab jaane do humko....na dekh sakenge tumharee is tarah rona....ab zara muskura do aur jaane do humko....aankhon key saamne rahe gayi ab aakhiri lamhe...na rokna na tokna ...na ansoo bahaana bas jaane dena humko....na wapas bulaana bas jaane dena humko

Khuda

E Khuda Aaj Ye Faisla Karde,
Use Mera ya Mujhe Uska Karde.
Bahut Dukh Sahe He Maine,
Koi Khusi Ab Toh Muqadar Karde.
Bahot Mushkil Lagta Hai Usse Duur Rehna,
Judai Ke Safar Ko Kum Karde.
Jitna Duur Chale Gaye Woh Mujhse,
Use Utna Kareeb Karde.
Nahi Likha Agar Nasib Me Uska Naam,
To Khatam Kar Ye Zindagi aur Mujhe FANAA Karde.

Unbearable Pain

It's unbearable when you're not around……It had been the such an infinetly fulfilling sensation, when I pressed my lips to yours, as if it suddenly didn't matter if everything else around us crumbled and fell away….. It felt like your kiss alone was enough to sustain me…..And it still is....Because you own a part of me that can not be replaced….. Because I'll never be the same with you, or without you-and because I'm bound to you by something that can not even be explained….much less understood….I had a perfect plan. A plan to forget….. Then, one day, there you were….. I saw you! You haven't changed a bit….. It was like a memory standing in front of me. ….As you talked to me I remembered that there was something I needed to think of….. After a while you left….. When you escaped from my view, I remembered….. I had to avoid you…. Yes. I made a mistake, but I knew that the next time it would be different….. Many weeks passed and I saw you again…..You talked to me about some stupid things….. I remembered that there was something I needed to think of. ….I didin't care then because I was with you…. And again, you left, leaving me there to fight with my emotions…alone. ….Then, suddenly I remembered…. I was supposed to avoid you, not talk to you, close my eyes when I see you…. That is what I will do next time. …And next time came too soon….. I tried to close my eyes but you wouldn't let me…. I tried to avoid you but you saw me first…. I tried not to talk but....Story repeated! As my feeling grew stronger I forgot about my plan….. I went to all the places where you could be, just because of the chance that I might see you….. I walked through lonley city streets, just because of the chance that you might be there….. I walked, and searched, and screamed your name…. But you never came…. I never saw you again….Thanks for taking away the words…I'm so afraid….I'm aware of things you're hiding….You'll find me drowned in your tears...But I doubt that you'll ever care….

Maa....

How can I complain to you? How can I complain about you? You never made any promises that you broke right? You never said anything that never happened right? You just gave birth to me...who said you had to be in my life? No promises were broken...No harsh words were said...then why do I hurt so much? Why do I feel a sharp pain everytime I say the word "mom"....Mamma I Need you...but I have no way to let you know...I long for your tender hugs...and your reassuring words....I Thrieve for those words I never heard...." I love you beta"....Why couldn't you just lie to me and told me you loved me ? Just one time....Now I know i'll never see you again and it hurts mamma...It feels like Someone has a blade in my wrist and day by day they are carving deeper and deeper...but maybe thats a good thing...cuz soon i'll become friends with the pain and I won't feel it anymore right?...I wish you were here...I need someone more then ever....I am tired of crying alone and not having someone there to comfort me....I lived thinking one day...One day I will see my mom...now its impossible...and I wish I could turn back time so I could force you=( It hurts....

My Sin....

I wake up in the morning and feel nothing but pain...thoughts race through my mind....they come again and again....where can i go ? what can i do? wherever i go this loneliness follows...A feeling of hurt and pain runs through my body...it hurts so hard...the pain is unbearable....Feeling inferior...feeling no good....When all I Crave is one thing...just to be understood....Day seem so long ...nights are getting harder and harder to bear....the feeling of loneliness and dispair won't go away...my insides burn with fire and pain longing for freedom again and again...emotions have run high....i hate living this way...it feels like i have commited a sin...i wish someone could just show me what has to be done to get rid of this feeling..

Lost.......

When Night falls Doubts rise ...and the fear of knowing nothing is there anymore creeps in my mind. Loneliness has become my companion and depression has become my friend...The world has changed shape and everything has become alien....Sorrow pours out of me..in my soul the only thing thats left is a bleeding heart....Pain is all I know and suffering is all I practice....The demons are dancing insanely and the eagles wings have been clipped...the hungry dog has been left to die....I can only ease my pain by greater pain....A Vaccume inside has sucked away everything leaving me with nothing...emptiness...All attempts have now failed and all the roads have been blocked....I am behind gods back and loneliness has become my punishment...The leaves have turned brown and died ...and a cold wind is the only thing that caresses my body....I'm lost in a maze searching for a way out....CHECK.....AND MATE....The game is over...the battle is lost...you lost against the world...hehe...Welcome to hell sairah..Now the world has become my enemy...Everyone has a demon inside of them just waiting for the right time to strike at me...I keep myself away...Hide in a corner with my eyes covered hoping they wont see me...I wait for someone to come and rescue me .

Dear ______....

I Find Myself wishing I was with you more and more everyday....I know its impossible since you belong to someone else...my mind understands that...but how can I make my heart understand? You say lets just be friends...Your a fool if you think thats possible...How can I be friends with someone whom I love so much knowing hes dating such a good friend of mine? I still don't realize why she would hurt me like this...Was I that bad? Maybe I was a bad friend to her and deserved all this....but the pain is unbearable...why can't I forget you dammit !!? If I had one wish it would be to turn back time ....I would go back and turn things around so I would have never met her...if I would have never met her I would have never met you....And I wouldn't be feeling all this pain today...I don't know if it hurts more that I can never have you or that she hurt me intentionally....It makes it hard to trust.."you will find others sairah"...ppl say...but what if when he comes along I wont be able to trust him?What if all this comes to mind at that time? What if he is true and I hurt him just like I have gotten hurt now? ALLAH Plz Help me get through this...I'm not asking you to take the pain...I'm not asking you to help me forget him...I'm just asking you to hold my hand...and give me the strength to get through this...Please Don't leave me alone in a time like this

Your Eyes

Somethin' in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself in your arms.There's somethin' in your voice, makes my heart beat fast.Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life.If you knew how lonely my life has been, and how long I've been so alone.And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along and change my life the way you've done.It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from.It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong.A window breaks, down a long, dark street.And a siren wails in the night.But I'm alright, 'cause I have you here with me And I can almost see, through the dark there is light.Well, if you knew how much this moment means to me And how long I've waited for your touch And if you knew how happy you are making me I never thought that I'd love anyone so much

Ansoo

Yunh Na Chuo Zakhm Ko...Mere Ansoo Tere Daman Ko Jala Na Dey.....Mere Saath Tu Bhi Na Khaakh Ban Jaaye...Sholon Ko Hawa Na De