Dear ______....

I Find Myself wishing I was with you more and more everyday....I know its impossible since you belong to someone else...my mind understands that...but how can I make my heart understand? You say lets just be friends...Your a fool if you think thats possible...How can I be friends with someone whom I love so much knowing hes dating such a good friend of mine? I still don't realize why she would hurt me like this...Was I that bad? Maybe I was a bad friend to her and deserved all this....but the pain is unbearable...why can't I forget you dammit !!? If I had one wish it would be to turn back time ....I would go back and turn things around so I would have never met her...if I would have never met her I would have never met you....And I wouldn't be feeling all this pain today...I don't know if it hurts more that I can never have you or that she hurt me intentionally....It makes it hard to trust.."you will find others sairah"...ppl say...but what if when he comes along I wont be able to trust him?What if all this comes to mind at that time? What if he is true and I hurt him just like I have gotten hurt now? ALLAH Plz Help me get through this...I'm not asking you to take the pain...I'm not asking you to help me forget him...I'm just asking you to hold my hand...and give me the strength to get through this...Please Don't leave me alone in a time like this